Welcome to my first post!
I established this blog site because I needed a way to express myself without fear of censure or repressions impacting my career. I'm Deaf as well. I wish I can use the medium of ASL to express myself, but I can't do that and remain anonymous. So I'm using the next best thing which is using the medium of text using English print.
My world that I live in is interesting, exciting, overwhelming, enraging, scary, even awe-inspiring at times. Sometimes I feel isolated and struggle to find connection with other people to express my thoughts, feelings, opinions and experiences. I know that I'm not the only one feeling this, many other people have experienced this. I create this blog to reach out, to share my insights, as well to read, comment on other people's blogs who share similar experiences as I do.
I have many identities and I'm interested in intersectionalities of different cultures, structures of communication, gender identity, Deaf identity, able-bodied. My centre is primarily Deaf and ASL. My life and experiences that I will blog here will touch on Deafhood, English, audism, trans-issues, balancing professionalism, challenges of writing in second language, having hearing family, being Deaf, being a Man while respect Women, bi-bi culture/language between English/ASL, body image challenges, to even concerns over what I will wear at my wedding. It is my goal to balance processing audism in my life while expressing positiveness.
Recently at work, I was introduced to a new co-worker and asked to interact with this person. I was told "she wants to learn about deaf culture". Inside me, I sighed and didn't want to be bothered while I told myself to be "positive, here I can effect change for better. This person may be actually willing to learn about Deaf culture and become an ally for Deaf community". I was in the middle of editing academic documents that I've been developing for my career. I need to finish those documents if I want to advance in my career and make money so I can pay off those student loans. So I agreed ok but only if with ASL interpreters as I'm not up to communicating with non-ASL speaker without an interpreter.
So few hours later, she showed up before the interpreters came. She said my name is "R" I nodded my head. She asked me where's everyone. I could lipread her some even though she has an accent. I held up a finger, I started typing to my interpreters and supervisor to check in on the meeting time. Eventually everyone arrived. My supervisor asked me to explain to her my project focus. So I start explaining. I was interrupted by her asking.. 'so does everyone speak same sign language?' I said, 'to the point, there are over 200 documented unique sign languages of the world'. I didn't feel like taking the time to educate her on Deaf culture. Her eyes open wide and her mouth drops. I've seen this reaction a million times, that's sometimes funny, sometimes not. She's gulping, sputtering..starting to say something. I cut her off and resume my project report. She interrupts me to say what about including data from the other signed languages. I say to her, that's not the focus of this project, but could be for the next project. Right now this project is focused on what we have done this past year. She says "ok" and settles back in her seat. I glance at my supervisor and she nods to keep on going. I was concerned I was too blunt and rough.
At the end of the day, she approaches me as I'm getting ready to leave. She holds her hand out to shake my hand. I look at it, and remember oh that's hearing culture while I consider explaining to her that's not part of Deaf culture. I let it slide as the interpreters already left and I don't want to be trapped with her for another hour. I shake her hand politely and smile while she says "I had a great time. I ......interesting.... Please tell me... " which is all I could understand. I replied " so you had interesting time at the meeting today? and you want me to tell you about the next class I teach? ". She said yes.
Lately I've been feeling this; I'm tired of being patient and explaining the 101 about Deaf culture everytime I meet a new hearing person. I rather be talking about the challenges of my project and moving on. I had two hour meeting and three hours of data to squeeze into that two hour meeting. In the end because of the uneducated hearing person, I lost a hour and only had one hour to get feedback on my project.
I don't have interpreters 24/7 or even everyday at my work. I'm upset that time was lost on basic stuff about challenges of Deaf culture that most hearing people don't know. Why is it that people know more about other disabilities such as autism than about Deaf people, sign languages, and Deaf culture? Is it because of audism, lack of awareness, and lack of hearing people who can listen and understand to Deaf people?
When I do finally finish those documents, where can I work? I am not sure if I have the patience to deal with hearing people. Maybe it's just the stress of working with those documents? I struggle to remind myself, at least I taught one hearing person that there is more than one signed language! Nope.. that doesn't really cheer me up. I need to feel positive about working with un-educated hearing people. I'm feeling burnt out.
